"I think somebody loved me once, but I cannot remmeber WHY"

I feel like I'm struggling to breathe. A lot's been going on in my life lately. Thus my lack of writing. But I feel like because of everything going on, I should be writing more. I'm just too busy. Let's focus on the good.

This semester I was seated 3rd out of 4 (up one spot) in Wind Ensemble but I get to play piccolo on 2 of the 4 pieces which is pretty cool. But the best thing ever.... I got into Orchestra this semester. Super f-ing awesome. I'm playing piccolo on the Liszt and I'm the only flute on the Sibelius Valse. ALSO: I finally have a recital date. November 19th @ 1pm. Yay ;) Should be good. I hope.

Now, the shitty thing. I've been contemplating what I'm gonna do in my life for awhile and it's been a big question. I know what I want to do but my mom and I have been butting heads on it all summer. So I'm appeasing her and we'll do a little bit of both. I'll be audition at a number of schools for a Master's in Music and also applying to other schools for a Master's in Music Business. The audition material that I need to know for some of these schools may not be feasible. Well, not. It's totally feasible for me. It's a matter of having the motivation to relearn many pieces from highschool, learn a few new things (Ibert Concerto.....) and on top of all that, convince Chris that I'm actually capable of doing this all in a matter of 4 months. Yes, I know. It sounds like I'm totally unprepared but that's cause this is kinda a spur of the moment thing if you think about it. As of this summer (and technically still), I was pursuing Music Ed and was gonna be here forever. That's not what I want to do at all. And I know it.

I have a lot of work to do. But I'm only taking 2 actual classes. I'm starting to enjoy practicing again and I'm sounding pretty good. Yay ;)

So in my life, music is a check plus. The social aspect of my life is actually where I wanna punch someone in the face. Over the summer, there were a few weeks were the drama just followed me everywhere. I got away from that bullshit for awhile but apparently it's come back to throw some punches. I'm not dealing with it anymore. I'm no quitter, but honestly, it's not worth my time and as you can see, I have way too many other things to worry about. Besides, I'm leaving in a year and I'll be away from this psycho bullshit. I'm just sick of skank bags invading my life.

Let's see...the house is great. Kait's moved in and things are going quite well. I mean, we're still moving things around and stuff, but that'll get sorted out soon I imagine. We had a party last weekend which went actually fairly well. Better than 50's who had the cops barge in on their's.

My grandparents are selling their house. That's also been quite taxing on my emotions. My grandfather's brother has incurable brain cancer. There's another one.

However, this week is full of sister stuff which is keeping my spirits high. I love those girls. Specially my surplus of littles :) Hmm...